So many thoughts popping out here and there in my mind,in my soul. but whenever i try to pen them down they run away,don't know why.its been long that i have been thinking to note down those vagabond thoughts but alas!!!
these days a very strange thought is disturbing me.so many questions & no one to answer them, not even myself can answer them. Its been 8 years that i have been staying away from my home, my parents, my younger brother - earlier I wanted to achieve my goals being a very ambitious girl since my childhood. now i feel i am not very clear about my goals, during childhood it used to look like fairy tale and now i understand that life is not like those dreamy tales. At least not for me.I don't know what i am doing and i am not happy with what i am doing, my creativity, those colours, those dreams are missing somewhere, I too have started acting like a machine. I know most of us are acting the same way but this is not me. Every morning when i get up, i don't feel the excitement to see a new day, I feel its the same monotonous long day. I believe we need to have some madness and passion to enjoy our lives but where they are in my life?every day i end up cursing something or other....though I am blessed with wonderful family, most loving,caring parents,brother and few good friends. I have shelter and can feed myself everyday still I complain so much. I feel beyond these basic need, some very fine emotional needs are yet to be fulfilled - now i don't even dare dreaming as I know the nude reality which is not as rosy as i used to visualize. Should I follow my mind and be mechanical to be in the race or listen to my heart, without any material expectation which may lead me to a direction that people may name 'failure' or 'escapism' don't know.....right now i am very confused!!!
where is the answer??
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