In your mid 30? And still single? Seems
horrible? It should not be. Relax. Chill. The right person will come and the
age won’t matter!
30 something and still single? Great! So am I. In my early 30s and pretty much single.
The questions we face almost on a
regular basis “So when are you getting married?” or “hey why are not you still
married?”
Well, I am not really against
marriage but just because I have crossed 30, I have to get married. Marriage is
not a compulsion. It should not be.
Have I tried getting finding that
special person? Yes, I did. By now I
think I can write a book on “Meeting the prospective groom!”
The most amazing fact of looking
for a groom is, however imperfect they are, they always look for the perfect
bride. Now how do we define perfection? Thanks to Indian TV soaps, we have a
clear picture in our mind how the bride should be. Fair, slim, educated yet
homely, a good cook (to impress the husband and the family), great at house
hold work, coy and happy, someone who never complains, who has mastered the art
of adjustment without uttering a single word… and the list goes on. And for many so called educated guys, the
bride has to be virgin!
I have been quite an independent
woman in my life. Have been working for over a decade, traveling alone from one
city to the other, I am the kind of a person who is not afraid of being alone.
I eat alone at restaurants. Go for movie alone. Sit alone in a park with a book
to read or with my camera. Somehow I am so damn comfortable in my own company.
So what marriage really is?
Two people coming together. With
a good check list. Mostly tangible, physical aspects. Where the guys have to show their salary slips
for past 3-6 months. The girls are being measures on weighing machine and with
inch tape! Two perfect people move forward with a measured way! Great!!!
But wait – is it marriage all
about perfection? I don’t think so.
Is not it about being just
yourself?
Why to be someone else? It’s
great to follow tradition however it’s never a compulsion to go out of the way
and follow something which is not you. For an example, most of the girls who
love keeping their hair short, love to wear jeans or even suits – suddenly
change themselves by growing their hair long and started wearing saree! Someone
who loves to talk and laugh sudden be quiet as the bride – to – be doesn’t talk
much or talk loud or laugh much! And if you are little bulky then you are
almost a NO NO in the marriage market.
Why can’t marriage be just like a
happy soothing breeze! When both the partners meet, the feelings should be
“WOW, Where have you been? Now let’s just enjoy the journey together by sharing
the happiness, joy and tears together.” Why can’t it go beyond physical and material
attraction?
Marriages for me and for many
girls who think alike, is being with a person who is compatible to enjoy the
journey of life together. It’s more of a friendship, a lifelong partnership. It may not be perfect and a bed or roses but
while together, everything can be shared!
From my own experience, I have
come across guys who are dead against accepting a girl who has her own voice! Who
doesn’t follow anyone blindly. Who travels alone. Who puts her needs
simultaneously with the partner’s needs! So much so that they guys feel it a
threat to have such an independent partner in their life!!! How come it is a threat when feel having a
strong partner makes the partnership stronger!
Image, Tendulkar and Kohli on partnership!
The match will be an amazing one. What
if Kohli takes Tandulkar as his competition? The ego game will start! This
probably is one of the reasons why most of us are scared to be in a relations,
ego! Yes, we are scared to leave the ego behind and start afresh.
Hope a day comes, when all the
guys and the girls are themselves and be accepted the way they are. It’s ok
sometimes not to be perfect and be the unique self. It’s probably the most
beautiful feelings when we are being loved, accepted and appreciated being us!
So don’t hurry, it’s ok even if
you are in in late 30s or early 40s. Your friends might all be married with
kids going to schools and some may be preparing to go to high school too. Everyone’s
timing can’t be same always. Till you are single, enjoy the space. Breathe
free. Learn new skills, develop new
hobbies, make new friends, travel solo (trust me; it’s one of the most amazing
things you can be doing single and free). Start reading and writing. Discover
the new you!
When the right person comes, the
age won’t matter. The wrinkle (if any) won’t matter. All that will matter is
your soul, the inner core of your being.
Let not your caste, your
religion, your complexion, your salary, your financial assets, your height or
weight define you. They are a part of you. You are more than all these. You are
limitless. A beautiful human being.
I believe I am so.
Stay in love with yourself always!
2 comments:
Well said
Cool... But one who expecting perfectly perfect should come in front of them and tell 'will you marry me ' that's impossible.. in this case both oposite individual are like poteto and tomato. They are not same obviously. But French 🍟🍟 fries always serv with tomato catchup.. Similarly tow lost soul should make each other perfect after marriage...
Your writing is cool I have enjoyed it .. from one side of your life you are right. Once you cross the line may be you thing different...
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